My ex and I have been apart now for just over three years. Looking back, those three years went by so quickly, it’s hard to keep track of the time. I think that’s what people say when they reach a certain age, right?
Regardless, these last three years have been my best. I have gained so much perspective, I’ve experienced so much personal growth and given a lot of thought to me and the second half, hopefully the best, of my life.
Above all, I am freed from what very much felt like a prison. Emotions locked tightly, always walking on egg shells, feeling responsible, needing to be strong.
I no longer carry the weight of a bad relationship on my shoulders, the heaviness that comes with knowing deep down inside that I am with the wrong person and holding onto that secret at all cost, at the sacrifice of my own happiness.
I don’t feel responsible for my ex, his happiness is not my job. I don’t need to ask myself if he will follow through on his promises, I don’t need to choke down the disappointment when he doesn’t. It is not my place to make up excuses for why he’s not with me or why we arrived late or why we can’t stay.
I can be myself without reservation, I don’t need to hold back my life for someone else. I don’t walk on eggshells, waiting for the anger to surface. I am free to do the things that bring me fulfillment, joy and purpose and I don’t need anyone’s permission.
Over the last three years, I’ve felt my inner light growing brighter each day. I’m stronger, more vibrant than ever.
I am free.