I have difficulty articulating to others the kind of romantic relationship I might find myself in now that I’m older and I’m a single parent. I grew up with this vision of two people living together and having children and to me, that was the ideal, the goal, the ‘happy ending,’ but when that doesn’t pan out, what the hell next, right?
And seriously, what is up with dating nowadays anyway. I suppose the fundamentals of dating are the same as they were years ago when I was in my 20s, but now the Internet plays a big role in dating. I mean, we can find out a lot of things about someone REALLLLYYYYY quickly. It’s scary.
You can find out the person’s job, past jobs, find out about their family, their friends, scroll through hours worth of pics, find out who they dated, where they took their last trip — it’s never ending and it really sucks because we can then take these snippets of information and proceed to fill our minds with assumptions. The thing is, maybe we’re right – maybe they dated, maybe they’re having an affair, maybe he does want to get back together with his ex, but maybe it’s all a figment of my imagination. You tell me — because I sure as hell don’t know!! lol
Not that long ago a friend of mine said he was looking at his girlfriend’s Instagram followers and the pics she liked and I was able to sort of rationalize for him how it didn’t matter and he was making a big deal out of nothing. But then I started to ask myself privately if he was onto something. Do we act differently online. Are we more at liberty or do we feel more inclined to flirt with strangers or friends online because there’s some sort of barrier of space between us. This ‘safety’ is what eggs us on to push the barre a little farther than we would in a face-to-face situation.
I think that’s the problem with online anything – it’s too easy to lose our humanity, our integrity. We see it when people leave nasty, hateful comments for others, we see it when the woman sends naked selfies for a moment of attention, we see it when the knocked down married person flirts online while their spouse is not looking.
I’m asking myself what is the answer, how do we fix it, how do we protect ourselves from being a victim of this ? I just don’t know.